Be the Best You Can Be: "A HARD DAYS NIGHT"- What Does Your Work Do For You?

“It’s been a hard day’s night and I’ve been working like a dog”. The Beetles (1964) - John Lennon.

What better way to illustrate the stressful nature of being over-worked, than these John Lennon lyrics from 1964? Everything we do in life either nourishes or depletes us, and with the amount of precious time we spend working, this aspect of our lives is of crucial importance. Americans spend on average 8 to 10 hours a day at work and in many sectors of the economy this number is on the rise. Even when we are lucky enough to have work we enjoy, we are often over-worked and our lives become unbalanced.

Things can get worse if your job is opposed to your values, doesn’t stimulate you or simply doesn’t interest you. I believe that there is a link between the increase in the number of hours given to working and the increase in our waistlines and our health and emotional problems. If we’re not getting fulfillment, meaning and joy at the workplace, then we are likely to turn to other things to fill the gap. This can lead to an over dependence on comfort food, but it can just as likely be alcohol, medication, distorted relationships or distractions like the TV or the Internet.

So, getting back to that “Hard Day’s Night”: In the song, the poor man’s only nourishment is provided by his woman. This is clearly not a balanced existence. It’s easy to imagine them both to be better off if he could work less, or even if he simply enjoyed his job more! Our bio-individuality means that our boats are floated in many different ways, and work means many different things to different people. For example, to many of us the business of just making money is a very limited view. To others it’s the whole point! In Hard Day’s Night the reason for it all is “to get you money to buy your things”. For some, jobs where we can help make the world a better place, or satisfy our creative impulse is just the ticket.

We often use distractions or misplaced emotions to alleviate our cry for help for genuine fulfillment, and this can lead to places that make things even worse, like addiction, isolation, and of course all the perils that accompany weigh gain – low self-esteem, diabetes, heart problems, cancer and stroke. Such an existence is, at best miserable and at worst, dangerous.

This brings to mind the expression, “our bodies hold great wisdom”, but what does this really mean?

While our brains can be the masters of denial, our bodies never lie. They have a way of telling us that things are going awry, often long before we get the message. Many chronic conditions can be indicators that the body wants a change. Migraines, headaches, asthma, eczema, digestive disorders, insomnia, depression……the list is vast. We need to pay attention to these signals that indicate “danger ahead”, for we ignore them at our peril and then suddenly we have a bigger problem on our hands. We would never ignore a warning triangle on the highway, so why are we so prone to ignoring our own selves? After all it is far better to break gently, than be forced into an emergency stop.

In part I believe it is because it fits our cultural profile to take a pride in overcoming our body’s messages. In England I grew up with the expression “soldier on” and it was a source of great pride to keep going in the face of all the odds. The Black knight in Monty Python illustrates this trait better than most. He has lost both arms on the battlefield and fighting on, while wielding his sword in his teeth, he utters the immortal words,“It’s only a flesh wound”. Indeed we actively cultivate and celebrate such warrior-like behavior in our society, while often understanding its absurdity.

Now, I’m not about to say we should give up the warrior in us. Indeed we need him to be successful. But what I am saying is that we must honor ourselves in a way that makes us strong, effective and healthy human beings who can make a profound and important difference to the world. If we’re not in good shape then we can become vulnerable in many ways. In Hard Day’s Night, the guy has put himself in a very precarious position in his most important relationship, by caring more about what he can bring home to his woman than about his own wellbeing. On the face of it, this may look selfless but in the end such behavior can tip into the unhealthy states of martyrdom and victimization.

“Finding the work you love, loving the work you find” is a phrase long coined by the recruitment business. In this frantic post-modern world this has become an even more pressing matter.

So what can we do?
Many of us find ourselves in situations that, for many reasons, cannot be radically altered right now. We have the mortgage, the 401(k), the school fees, or the family business to run. Here the warrior needs some practical assistance to keep him atop his horse:-

1. Make a pact with your spirit that you know what the true situation is, and that you will make a big effort to do all in your power to make life more tolerable. Acknowledging the truth of things is a vital first step.

2. Make a comprehensive list of things that you like about your work and another list of things you would change if you could. There are many considerations here: colleagues, environment, remuneration, content, successes, disappointments, including the all-important question - does the work actually “matter” to you?

3. The next step is often a very hard one to take. Ask for help! It’s a strange thing, but no one knows what you need until you ask. How do you hope to have your dreams realized if no one knows what they are? Believe me, as an Anglo Saxon this is a very hard thing to put into practice and my culture is not alone in this. We have the idea we should be able to do it all ourselves, and if we can’t we’re falling short. Sound familiar?

4. Once you ask, you allow amazing things to happen! It maybe more flexible working hours, a raise, different office, a change in responsibility, etc. If you are a valued member of the team, then chances are you will create an improvement if you ask for it, and often this helps a business to be more dynamic because nothing ever stays the same. Things are always changing and, these days, often at a rapid pace. Challenging the status quo can be a good thing for everyone. I have a friend who had wanted a pay rise for a couple of years, rather than ask for it, she looked for, and was offered, another job. When she handed her notice in, she was offered a promotion and more money, if she would stay. She had no idea that they appreciated her at all and they had no idea she was unhappy. She had spent two years in this uncomfortable place getting more and more resentful.

5. Make your place at work, as comfortable as possible. Move things around in your work environment, add things from your life outside of work, like art and photographs that make you feel happy. Take a stretch break every hour and always eat lunch – and never at your desk. Eat whole and nourishing foods as these lead to whole and expansive thoughts. Even if it’s only for half-an-hour – take a break and try and get outside. The body craves fresh air, sunshine and movement.

6. Where ever possible align yourself with co-workers that you like and who inspire you. Try to keep contact to a minimum with those who are negative and bring you down. Feeling part of a team and experiencing camaraderie is essential to wellbeing. In Hard Day’s Night this is the feeling he gets when he says, “when I get home to you I’ll find the things that you do will make me feel alright”.

7. Work out when “enough is enough”. We are submerged in a culture of growth, growth and more growth. We must examine our actions carefully and learn to mark our boundaries with care. Learn to check in with ourselves (we have emotions for a reason after all) and to get to know when it’s ok to say “no” and when it is important to say “yes”. We must look at our default settings closely, as we often need to adjust a lifetime of habits.

8. Do your best not to blame your situation. Rather try and learn from your feelings about it. What does it say about you? Use it as a learning process and then you will not succumb to becoming The Victim or The Martyr in the mix. This puts you back on your horse and in control of the situation in a way that is very empowering.

9. Finally, remember these Universal Truths, “What you put in, you get out”. “What you pay attention to, you attract more of”. Even if you are in a bad spot, being warm and kind and open will ALWAYS help no matter how hard the circumstance. Try and remember what a kind word does for you, and then you’ll be reminded of what it can do for others. Kindness always has a ripple effect as it fans out from the source like a pebble thrown in a lake.

If you are in a position to change your job but you have no idea what to do, here are a few tips to help you find the work you love (and they worked for me!):

1. Look to your childhood and make a comprehensive list of the things that you loved to do. This is a way to access the “true” you. The “you” that spontaneously did things, long before “real life” intervened.

2. Take a close look at your hobbies, interests and what you read and seek out naturally.

3. Try and remember the last project you worked on where you felt excited, alive and totally stimulated.

4. Look at your present job and make a note of the things that work for you and the things that don’t.

5. Then ask yourself the question, “Which one of the above activities would I spend the next 8 hours doing, if I could?”

6. Make a list of all the jobs you can think of that match these activities. Even if this leads you to an impractical place, try and incorporate more of these things into your life with hobbies, clubs, societies, etc. Try creating a group of like-minded friends and try some of your ideas out together to see if they hold up.

Above all, whatever the circumstance, be brave and pro-active in all you do. It’s your life and you have to do it everyday. No one can do it for you, but you. If we remember that everything is interconnected, then it helps us to grasp the point that if we are leading the best lives we can, rather than this being a selfish thing to do – it is rather a self-less thing, as it in turns makes the world a better place and helps make the “hard day’s night” a lighter load.

Why not join me for your free Health Counseling Appointment and learn more about my 12 Session Program. Getting healthier and happier has never been so much fun! You can visit my website http://www.carolinephipps.com/, email me at caroline@carolinephipps.com or call 845-677-4624. Read more!

How Does Pilates Lengthen Your Body?

You've probably heard that pilates "lengthens" your body. Do medieval torture devices come to mind? Don't worry, its not quite as graphic.

There are a few ways that pilates can help to lengthen your body, but in this post I want to focus on just one. Pilates brings your body into its correct posture and alignment, therefore you regain your true height. After days, weeks, and years of sitting at a desk, driving cars, watching tv on the couch, carrying kids or bags, our bodies start to fall into an easy slump. We start dropping down into ourselves, shrinking, and letting go of any spring or lift that our spines and mid-lines are capable of.

When we practice pilates regularly, our bodies relearn what length and height is really possible. The truth is, that length was there all the time. We were just smushing it down with poor posture and low energy!

The optical illusion above is a perfect example of how pilates can change and lengthen your body. If haven't already guessed, both the red and the blue lines are the same length. Its the direction of the black lines that creates the illusion that one is shorter than the other.

Think of the red and blue lines as two mid-lines of two bodies and the black lines as directions of energy. The blue mid-line could appear long like the red mid-line, but it is contained and shortened by the energy of the black lines. You can imagine the black lines on the far right as being the arms hanging heavily downward, and pulling the energy of the poor person downward with them!

Now look at the red mid-line, and see how the black arms lift upward and also lift energy upward with them. In this case, focusing on just lifting energetically, as well as literally, made the difference in appearance of length.

This is pilates! Pilates lifts and lengthens your energy up and and out along the mid-line, allowing you to find the height and length that you've always been capable of.

I love to tell this story about how I always thought I was 5 foot 2 inches in height. I actually did measure at that height at one point. I was always annoyed at being so short. One day a few years ago, after doing pilates and Alexander Technique for a long time, I decided to re-measure myself. 5 foot 4 inches! I was shocked, but I shouldn't have been. Hey, pilates works!

Here is an old post I wrote about the mid-line in general:
http://headsuponyourbody.blogspot.com/2008/02/where-is-your-core.html Read more!

Heads Up on Your NECK

After you've been practicing pilates for a while, you might start to notice that you're tight in certain areas that you didn't even realize you had! IT Bands, anyone?! Well, your neck can also hold tension during a pilates class (or any type of exercise, actually) and you may not even realize it.

Why is this important?....
If your neck is over working, your core is underworking.

You might be thinking, there are so many things to think about during my pilates class- coordinating my movements, staying connected to the center, lengthening my legs, keeping neutral pelvis- now I'm supposed to think about my neck?? Um, yes.

But really, you don't have to think about your neck. You have to FEEL your neck. Practice "neutral" neck. Its best to have your teacher help you with this, because the correct neck position is not at all easy to find yourself. The following suggestions I have are good ways to feel "neutral neck", for any exercise, and any position.

Start with the space under your chin. A teacher-friend of mine used to say "there is a baby chick under your chin, don't crush, or drop, your chick!". If you drop your chin, you will crush your baby chick. If you lift your chin to high, you will drop your baby chick. A good way to feel that your chin is in the right place is to look straight ahead, out into the horizon.

Besides nodding up and down, your head and neck can move too far forward (like you're sticking your chin out) or too far back (like you're pressing the back of your head against the wall behind you). There is a neutral, middle-ground place, where your head should float on your neck. Interestingly, awareness of your ears can help you find the right position.

If you're upright, feel your ears being gently lifted up to the ceiling by two imaginary pieces of string. As your ears are being held up, your jaw is hanging with its natural weight, away from the ears. If you're laying on your back, imagine your ears dripping off your head into the mat.

And, while you're laying on your back, you obviously can't "look out on the horizon" to neutralize your neck. Instead, look straight up at the ceiling. Resist the urge to look down at your body while doing pilates on your back. When you look down at yourself, the nature curves of your neck flatten into the mat and it could strain.

Another great image for releasing neck tension is to envision the back of the base of your head, then your two ears on either side. Think of, and allow, space between the ears, in the back of your head.

I once learned a great way to release neck tension from my Alexander Technique teacher, Hope Gillerman. It works during all pilates exercises where you may, but hopefully don't, feel neck tension. I've even been told that it helps release tenion while driving and flying:

Tongue Float
Slightly open your mouth, and float your tongue inside. Don't let it touch anything- not the inside of your mouth or your teeth. Don't allow your top and bottom teeth to touch each other, either.

Hopefully some of these ideas are useful to both students and teachers alike! For teachers, its another thing to notice about the body that isn't contributing to the exercise. For students, its another area of the body to feel, and be aware of any unnecessary tension that might get stuck there.

Here is another post I wrote on the subject:
http://headsuponyourbody.blogspot.com/2008/01/way-to-release-neck-tension.html

Here is another post I wrote specifically about neck tension during the Hundreds:
http://headsuponyourbody.blogspot.com/2008/03/neck-pain-during-hundreds.html

All about "looking out at the horizon":
http://headsuponyourbody.blogspot.com/2008/02/look-out-at-horizon.html Read more!

Back Pain Statistics

So I just returned from the FAMI workshop at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine in NYC, and all I can say is WOW!! If you're a pilates or yoga instructor, massage therapist, or personal trainer, get thee to FAMI!

I was so privileged to be part of such a fantastic and inspiring group of fellow instructors, and to be taught by such passionate and enthusiastic doctors who are specialists in their fields. If you want to be inspired to learn more about the body, meet people, and spend a week in nyc, check out the FAMI website that I linked below!

Now, onto back pain statistics. I've actually heard these stats before, but now that I heard them straight from a doctor at FAMI (Dr. Adam Bender, a Neurologist who spoke at the workshop), I feel more confident in their validity.

Did you know....

75-85% of people have back pain at some point in their lives

Back pain is the 2nd most common reason for seeing ANY doctor

Back pain is the 3rd most common reason given for surgery

Back pain is the 5th most frequent cause of hospitalization

The age group with the most reported back pain is adults age 45-64

Only 5% of people actually have a difinitative cause of their back pain, AND even less of a percentage actually have a pinched nerve causing their pain.

These stats can mean different things to different people, depending on their situation with back pain. Most importantly, notice that many people seem to be complaining about back pain, and seeking care for their pain, but the true cause of back pain frequently tends to allude doctors.

My Alexander Technique teacher used to tell me to stop trying so hard to figure out "why" my body was in pain with sciatica. She would get quite annoyed with me! Her point was, sometimes we can't focus all of our energy on WHY things are the way they are. When there is no obvious answer, sometimes we have to say, "Ok, let's work with what we have here, the fact is that I'm in pain and what I really need to focus on now is healing".

So what can you do for yourself if you have pain? Seek advice from professionals who you know and trust, and follow whatever seems to make the most sense to you. Of course, I think taking private pilates lessons with an experienced and certified instructor is one of the best things anyone can do for chronic back pain. You'll strengthen your core muscles, learn what correct posture is and how to move your body in proper biomechanical ways. And, MOST importantly, pilates will help you gain a feeling of control over your pain, and hopefully, you'll eventually conquer it.

Here is FAMI, one more time:
FAMI Workshop: http://www.famiworkshop.com/ Read more!

Follow-Up to Pilates Pro Article

I received a couple comments to my article on http://www.pilatespro.com/ , "How to Succeed As a Freelance Pilates Instructor", and thought I'd respond to one here on the blog. Here's Christine's comment:

"I am a new Pilates Instructor and recently bought my own reformer. I have been teaching at 2 to 3 studios and hope to get to 30 hours a week, every couple of days I do wonder. If seems I travel more than teach. I hope to read more inspiring stories. Also I am in a town of only 5,000 people outside of Chicago any ideas. -Christine"

I totally hear what Christine is saying about feeling like we travel more than we teach sometimes. Its especially loud and clear lately with the price of gas these days. I have a few suggestions for Christine, and anyone else who feels the same way.

1. Branch out on your own
Most importantly, you say you recently bought your own reformer. This is great! This reformer is your ticket to independence and making more money per hour with less (or no) travel time. I suggest that when you're not teaching, you turn your focus on finding clients to come do private sessions with you on your reformer.

I'm not at all an advocate of stealing clients from the studios where you work, though. You can find your own clients, there are plenty of people to go around, even in a small population. Post an ad on craigslist.org, post signs on local bulletin boards, nursery schools, coffee shops, libraries, colleges, super markets- everywhere!

Come up with an introductory discount package for people who want to try out pilates. Offering a discount when they buy multiple sessions will attract people.

2. Your own balance This is also very important- find a mental balance for yourself. Its stressful when you have a goal of a certain number of hours per week and you're not yet at that goal. Try to focus on the present moment when you're with clients- engage with them, hear them, focus on them and the moment. Loose yourself in each session to the point where you look at the clock and see that there are only minutes left.

If you're stressed out in the back of your mind while you teach, your clients will feel that. The way to attract more business for yourself is really to focus on the present, and trust that good things are coming your way. I promise that this is true.

At the same time, you do need a clear vision of the future, which is why I'm suggesting that you should focus on getting private clients on your reformer, in your free time when you're not teaching. You might even be able to eventually buy a tower or ladder barrel and teach semi-privates, which attract more people (who want to workout with a friend and spend less money).

3. Your goals
I think a realistic goal is that you get so many private clients on your reformer that you slowly don't need to work at 2 or 3 different studios anymore.

One thing that can contribute to stress is unrealistic goals that will just leave you with a feeling as if you need more, or could be more, than what you are now. I know we all have very real financial needs, but take a look at your goals as a teacher and see if they need some tweaking.

Is setting a goal of 30 hours per week realistic at this point? To quote my Saturday morning clients, "We all have goals!", but if you set an unrealistic goal, I have a feeling that you'll always feel inadequate.

This is my suggestion (JUST a suggestion!), focus on getting 10 new clients for your reformer. Let's assume that you charge $50/private on the reformer, with the goal of 10 privates per week. That gives you $500/week. Once you're there, focus on getting 10 more. That gives you $1000/week and you're only working 20 hours/week.

4. Again, your goals
Ok, here's another tip and let me just say that it takes faith to listen to what I'm saying!! Think of the true essence of pilates- balance. If you yourself are not balanced, your clients never will be either. To find your perfect balance, teach from your heart during each session. Your clients will feel it, and recommend you to their friends. Outside of your teaching, switch gears and focus on your goals for your independent business. Spread the word about your reformer, and follow the tips in my Pilates Pro article.

5. Activate yourself
To get energy moving, take new classes yourself. Take yoga, pilates with different teachers, Alexander Technique, Gyrotonics, continuing ed classes, whatever. You'll get some new vocabulary and ideas for your clients, and you'll stir up any static energy in your system!

I've noticed this myself, whenever I take private sessions for myself in any type of movement method, clients start pouring in. For every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction!
Another benefit to taking lessons in your free time is networking with people in your line of work. When other professionals get to know you, they'll recommend you to people they know.

Good luck, and I hope my ideas were helpful for you!! Read more!

Not Getting What You Want Out of Life?

Do you feel stuck or unhappy with your life, relationships, job, living situation, or whatever? Its hard, but its always good to remember that you can never change the way other people are, or what they say and think. You can only change YOU.

So if you're unhappy, the best place to start is with yourself. Could you be hitch-hiking with an axe? You may think that you don't need to change, but the truth is, you can't blame other people for the way your life is right now. Your own decisions are what keep you stuck, or what get you moving! Read more!

Off to FAMI

I've been waiting for this workshop and its finally time! I'm off to my first FAMI workshop and can't wait!

FAMI (Functional Anatomy for Movement and Injuries) is a 4-day long workshop at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine in NYC, taught by doctors, anatomists, and experienced pilates and yoga instructors. Its a workshop for pilates and yoga instructors, as well as other instructors of any movement method.

Its very hard to find good anatomy workshops geared towards pilates instructors, so this workshop seems like it will be really great. The best, and craziest, part about the workshop is that we'll study cadavers!! I've seen disected human bodies but never a straight up cadaver. So this will be really interesting.

Anyway, I'll try to blog during the week while I'm away and keep everyone updated with some tidbits from the workshops. And when I get back, I'll definitely have plenty of blog-worthy material.

Here is the link if you want to check it out:
http://www.famiworkshop.com/ Read more!